This post in part of my marriage series. In these posts, I document what I’ve learned, what’s surprised me, how our relationship has evolved, etc. Feel free to let me know if there are any topics you want me to address. You can email, leave a comment or ask a question on Formspring.
You can see my previous posts on my marriage page.
Here’s a common scene in our house: Dan and I are goofing around with Tracker and having a generally good, dorky time. Then it hits me how cool it is that I get to live with my best friend.*
I would say this happens at least once a day.
So, when one of my friends told me she was reading an article in Cosmo that advised women not to seek partners they are friends with because it takes away from the sexual attraction, I couldn’t help but be confused — and concerned for the women who take that advice.
Aside from the fact that it’s so enjoyable to spend time with Dan, I can’t imagine what it would be like to go through life without a husband who truly supports me. That’s because, even though being best friends is often about fun and games, it’s also about caring for each other and having a well-rounded relationship that includes respect, compassion and mutual determination to persevere.
Let’s face it: There are lots of ups and downs in life. Heck, this past year of marriage has been a complete microcosm of that. Based on that, I can see how the ups of a relationship would probably be entertaining with a simple bed buddy, but they’re even more fun with a best friend.
As for the downs? It would be nearly impossible to get through life with a person I can only relate to in between the sheets.
That’s not to say physical attraction isn’t important. In fact, I’ve always believed that is vital to any romantic relationship. Anyone who says otherwise is lying, as far as I’m concerned.
What I really don’t understand about Cosmo’s argument, however, is this: Why do attraction and friendship have to be mutually exclusive?
I’m here to say that is is possible to think your husband is gosh-darn sexy while also thinking he’s an amazing human.
Don’t let Cosmo or anyone else tell you otherwise.
*Referring to Dan, naturally. Tracker is my BDF or “best dog friend.”